Heavy heart

To Be ?
Or Not To Be?

Was I Overreacted?
Or Just Envious?

I Don't know?
Why Am I So Frustrated?

I know. I am not Good Enough.
And Everything Seems to Counter ME back.

Maybe you purposely did that.
But i always take everything you said seriously.

Every words, every whispers, every smile and frown
Is collected in my memories..

You Always told me that, I Didn't. I Didn't
But, which one is real? This? That?

For me, every "didn't" i never believed it.
Is not that I don't trust you.

But Every Emotion, Every words you showed
stacked up with a fragile disguise of your "didn't"

I just can't stop thinking. What are you trying to tell me?
You're like this everytime.

I'm confused, i don't want to think so much.
But you're keeping away from me.

Those which were needed for the answer. You Hide it.
Those which were not needed. You gave it all.

Sometimes i really want to say this word ' SHUT UP '
I don't like that word. People used it to me, i never liked it.

SHUT UP PLEASE!
Don't Let me know anymore. Is Heavy..

Because of you, i have past through many of these time.
My body, My Heart IS very heavy.

Not once. Not once.

Shinjite, boku wa joudan janai.. Boku no kokoro wa ittai. Boku wa Anata o Aishite imasu to kirai desu. Tatsuketeka? Dare? Dare mo imasen.. Ima Boku no kokora wa amen ga arimasu.. Sono Amen, Samui ne..

Just like you, really cold.

-I'm sorry. I'm just not good enough ;(-

I'm BACK

Nothing to update once again!

Shut up la. Min and Kai Fai is two different things suetyen.


Well, i didn't update my blog because my MUM banned me from using it on Mon-Thurs because something happened and more nagging ETC ETC.!

Was kinda happy because of SOMETHING. Don't wanna tell you all kakakak xD

aDIOS!~

Did She?

hmmmm, just wanna say these few days.. i blog'd a lot.

Maybe is because i want to give up some messages to someone. Or maybe i just want to let people know how i felt.

I really don't know. I also surfed most of the blogs in my list.


Well Moving on...


KAI FAI! JIE HUI! LOST! HOMG! But kinda expected also. The most popular one always lose.. He did well. I watched that show in my grandma's house and Calvin's house.

During the show, i made a bet with 'someone'. And actually i lost but i'm supposed to get something for it <- WTF?. Haha, but somehow i felt a -not happy- aura from the sms. So.. The bet, was categorized as a -Chat- only.

Somehow, i felt a bit depressed. But after receiving more sms's i felt relieved suddenly. Maybe is the words that contained in sms's hahaha.

out of a sudden. I was wondering, did that 'someone' read my blog before? or even follow this blog? Hmmm, i hope she does. Cuz' there's a few times i'm trying to let her know something..

haha that's all. bye! hope tomorrow morning will rain!

I'm not good nor bad

FYI:- I'm NOT a good guy nor a bad guy.

I believe myself that i'm a crafty, sly guy. I think is not a bad thing.

I always look further before doing something, and think about the consequences. Even though sometimes my decision is wrong, but if i did it there must be a reason. People who're close to me called will know. If you didn't talk to me or same class wth me before you will think that :-

- I'm a Banana Tak tau chinese
- I'm a very good boy
- I'm quiet
- Just a guy who wanted nothing but moving on

Well, these few days i came through a lot of stuffs. Arguments, backstabbing.. etc. I think is normal to have these, and someone will eventually sympathies the people they believe or friends. The 'Someone' will eventually too create 2 possibilities..
- Make The Argument more complicated / Calm things down.

You can call the someone a -KEPOCHI- or -8 people- or even -people who has nothing to do when their ass is itchy-

Yea.. Don't be angry, cuz' i'm insulting myself too. I tried to solve their problems cuz' as you know outsider can see things that people who were involved clearer.

So, for example. Miss C. Having troubles and disappointment for her friends. From what i saw and heard i agreed with Miss C. But, maybe they're trying apologize.. Mmmmm, from their actions that they did before i don't think so. They're trying to give excuses for what they're doing. Forcing, Using friends. The ones who did might not think so. But it is.

Everyone has mask. Everyone is different. But some people, they have mask that's unusually more than ordinary. When you saw your friends have those. You Will eventually try to stay away from getting hurt. But some don't because they believed something call 'trust' in the relationship. In the end, they will regret.


To -> Mystery Guy, trust me.. I'm not a good guy. Don't praise me and regret if you don't know me.

To all those people, who're in the argument or something related about fight.
Sometimes, things can be settled if you calm down yourself for a moment. For that time, also don't talk about it, don't spread it, don't give extra comments. That will help... The best is ignore. One day, you will make your decision and eventually you will get the right path

Tell you frankly, I've been through that before.
All you need to do in the end, think properly, make your decision and don't regret it.

Goodbye~.


OH YEA IM CHEERING FOR LAU KAI FAI IN THE ASTRO XIN XIU DA SAI! HOPE HE WINS! If Ryan wins then is must be rasuah

Bring Me Away.

Hmmm, Felt a slight depression after watching this MV again. Rainie's tearful eye makes me soooo depressed. Felt like it happened before ;( Oh well. Wished someone will say this to me hahaa. Gila.




THIS TOO! JUSTIN! I LOVE IT!



Lost my words. What are you trying to proof to me?
Oh well, Is okay. All i need to do is do my best right?
My effort might not last long, but i won't looe u that easily.

Time is powerful, it can change everything
something good to bad, bad to good..
It can even make you ignore something that you bothered

So let this be my last word,
That i trust thy love. ;)

TOday Today!~

Well.. I understand is too easy to understand.. just want you all to figure it out? Like what rico said, is not even funny haha.

Nothing to happened lately.. Can't write anything..


Today school was macam ponteng day. Only En. Kamal and Miss Siti teach ( well, saya tak listen Puan Azlina :X Sorry!)

Puan Suraini has sore throat can't teach. Moral, slack slack slack. So boring only filled in the form. WBS as usual that Puan Zainun came in late.

Oh yea. Jia Wei came back to school today. So this is the conversation.

XiaoLin: eh, benjamin. Jia wei outside.
Me: o.o? yes ah?
XiaoLin: yea la... and ( if i wasn't wrong she describe jia wei until like impossible for her to make mistake for her vision)
Me: Oh? Okay.

-Looked outside, Saw Jia Wei-
Me: Wei, Big show..
JW: -Nod-
Me: Why suddenly come back?
JW: Don't know.
Me: Siao ah?
Jw: No la, miss you ma.
Me: -.-' ( he used my words.)

-Disappeared Suddenly-
-------------------------------

Mmmmm... Nothing already.. Well, Saw Hsien Ming bought some papers to make stars. Wonder who? Shen Jun was helping him during recess in class, but he was chased down by the prefect.

OH YEA! The ice-cream uncle came today. I was his 1st customer i think hahaha. It's been sooooo lonnnnnggggggg. I LOVE ice-cream!

wait.. during the mssd i had one already.. oh well, it's still gooood!

Everything seems to fall into places now, but why i am worrying?
Is it because of that word? 'Maybe' can change a lot of things you know?
Perhaps, no.. It must be. So let this be now, and cherish every momment with you.
I hope promises that have made wouldn't change.... well, so easilly.

Adios.

Read Slowly

I
Read
Estimated
Anywhere
Loved
Looked
Yawned
Lied
Ohh..
Volunteered
Everytime
Unstoppable
Xylophone-d
Irretrievable
No one..

Hahaha hope you can figure it out!

UPLOADED!

Well, just want tell you that i kinda lazy to upload it here ;P. So guys if you want to take a look at it you can go to my friendster or facebook to check it out.

I will only upload some photos...





Lazy~

Mssd

Yea... This year got bronze again. Well i tried my best to fight with the state player. haha

Soo, i was there at the MBPJ dewan around 6.45, i was the 1st human there lol. Then KK came at 7. With Seng they all. So you can say, a whole bunch of taman SEA people appeared at the same time haha. Well that time almost everyone is there already. So we do all those mouth guard checking, briefing, Warm-ups etc.

So Justin later found out the chart. So ChungLih was the 1st one among everyone else.. and well he did his best but he lost. I was 5th i won. But i kena hit by a back trust to the mouth. Bleed non stop, but i continued and i won lol.

So in 2nd round lost but got a bronze.

Seng Yew and Danush got Gold, huai jun and jeff got bronze.. n etc etc.
Injured my left arm and right leg. Hope it will recover fast!

Danush was in tears of joy when he won the Gold medal. He was crying hahaha. Forgotten to take the picture down. I think 15 out of 29 got a medal. Not bad! Not bad!

What else? Li Yen was annoying me with the word 'aggressive', she said ' Sound so wrong!, use ganas!' haha she got bronze.

Hmmm, Neu did well xD he won 3 straight game but failed in the final!.


Will upload picture tomorrow. I need to rest my arm!

TOMORROW!

I'm SoooooOOOOooOoOOO excited about tomorrow. As you know is the MSSD taekwondo sparring comepetition tomorrow will be held at Dewan MBPJ, Jln 227. Well i don't know where is it.

So, must win a gold medal as you know this will be my second last year to compete in a school competition.

Hmmmm, well You can do it xD

Oh yea, today in school our class sang the Patriotic song for the competition. We picked 'Budi bahasa budaya kita'. And.. Didn't went well cuz' everyone panic and doesnt know the lyrics for it at the same time and the same sentence! Wow. But didn't expect to win also la. hahaha just think of it as an activity.

Well, Kai Sheng i already did it ok? haha byebye

SIGH!

Wednesday! And tomorrow i need to understand the account's homework that teacher gave us. Is getting really confusing already...

______________________________________________________
Oh yea, we went to the hall today for the prefect install. It used up 3 periods, means tak ada bm & pjk. Well, very bored la. Prefer to be in class, louder. So practically, today is so sleepy also.

Why do i even bother by someone else? She's just an ordinary human, if i ignored her and get to the Shouju ( no translation ). I felt so useless. What are you doing? Are you letting your things disappear again?

I miss your frown that i used to see when i pinched you, your smile when i talked about something funny. I don't it to be my dream or fantasy. Please, please CHANGE!



Ima, Sayounara!~

Tagged by kai, ignoring suetyen's TAG LOL

Tagged by Kai, lazy to do suetyen's too long LOL

1. Besides your lips, where is your favorite spot to get kissed?
* There's no favourite spot. As long there is a kiss, is fine?

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
* I felt like useless bum.

3. Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
* Let me see... Err.. I think with 4Jasmin?

4. Would you consider yourself spoilt?
* Not really. My mum is the best MuM

5. Will you ever donate blood?
* Hahaha, if possible i will.

6. Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex?
* OMG? Of cuz la!

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
* Hahaha yea..

8. What does your last message say?
* Sms = Jing Tian You Shi Bai Le.. Haihs... Zhong Shi Na Me De Jie Yi ;P

9. What are you thinking right now?
* Her. Only Her.

10. Do you want someone to be with you right now?
* Not quite possible right now? But Yes.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
* 9.30-10?

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now?
* ROFLED IM NOT WEARING ANY? AIKS

13. Is someone in your mind right now?
* Yea Yea.

14. Who was the last person who text you?
* Text ah? Nyoke Yee or Wan Xin i think?

Tag 10 "lucky" people do this quiz.
1 Enrico Wong
2 Yee Suet Yen
3 Mok Hann Jian
4 Chia Nyoke Yee
5 Chia Xiao Lin
6 Chia Jie En
7 Chang Meng Kit
8 Wan E Wei
9 Ida Ezra
10 Calvin Tan

15. Who is number two (SuetYen) having a relationship with?
* Dare mo nai.

16. Is number three (MokHannJian) a male or female?
* I think.... Male? hahaha

17. If number 7 (MengKit) and number 1 (Rico) get together will it be good?
* When, The Teacher Meets the Prince of PERSIA

18. What is number 1 (Rico) studying?
* No idea. About the schedule of the performance?

19. Is number 4 (NyokeYee) single?
* Yea. I think? Probably la. Kekke

20. Say something about number 6 (JieEn)
* Da sis of XiaoLin? haha Ultraman

21. What you think of number 3 (hannJian) and number 6 (JieEn) being together?
* Underage LOL

22. Describe number 9 (IdaEzra)
* Ahli biasa rumah kuning, Pegawas Sekolah, 4Lili, Etc

23. Do you like number 8 (E WeI!)?
* HAHAHAHAHA SAYA RELA!

How Ordinary.

Dong~

We changed our places. Felt a bit lonely, cuz what is left is only KaiSheng. Monday morning is a day that i slack all day. Until tomorrow. Have to see En Beh, Up close LOL.

Well, nothing special happened. Tried to find someone to argue, but it seems that no one is there to scold. My back is hurting like hell. Especially near the neck. Felt so spineless today.

How am i gonna survive Tuesday? Need a PRINTER. I WANT TO PRINT NOTES LA!

...... Today's post is sooooooo gloooommmmyyyyyy. Cuz' today is too ordinary...

Oh right, let's try harder tomorrow okay? Like, start to scold someone or go mad with someone. <- zzz

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nothing more to say. BuhBye

Friday!

YES! Well, update something on Wednesday's Rugby first.
Well, is been awhile since i exercise myself and i'm burning all my hard earned fats. That day i was on form to run again. Scored 2 touchdowns and 1 assist. Ok that's all. In the end still lack of stamina.


Hmmm. So FRIDAY! Yes. That day, a lot of things happened. Including in school and outside the school. Well, invited someone to stay back and didn't expect a 'Yes'. After that... alright 'she' went home and i went to C's home. Can't mentioned because she doesn't want people to know about it. Whatever la. Well, chatted a lot of stuffs. Never chat with her that long and then I went back.

AND NEXT SATURDAY IS MSSD SPARRING COMPETITION! DEFINITELY CANNOT LOSE, I MUST EARN THE PRESENT HAHHAAH. Bronze MSSD LAST YEAR, SILVER SMKTS LAST YEAR, THIS YEAR STRIKE A GOLD PLEASE!!!! IM TRAINING hard ! Must not lose...


GottaGo Bye~! Sayounara!

8-7-09

Hmmm, lazy already..Just wanna tell you that there's a new transfer student in my class.

Her name, i think is Mei Hui? Yea yea i know Kelvin Eow mentioned before right?.

And... MR RAVI IS GONE! POOOF! PUAN AZLINA IS BACK!~

HOORAY! NO MORE SLEEPY LESSON! Well nothing much to update ..


ADIOS!

Another Tuesday

Well, Tuesday. I finished my moral project FINALLY.Because of this,my airbags are getting deeper. Today was kinda like the usual also la.


So, I forgot to blog on Saturday! Something really funny happened. Well, back from my grandpa's home my dad was in a good mood. So he took us to the 1ST A&W. Yup, the near Amcorp One. My dad doesn't go to this kinda place usual you know, is like once in a blue moon i mean RED moon. Hmmm, so i went to the toilet but after i finished my business i saw a lady outside. I was calm, I looked at the door. 'FEMALE' WTF! So i was like whatever la one people only. -Washed hand-, -She Laughed-. Hahahaha, and i came out laughing and my brother also laughed. Then when i think back i was too focused on the mirror before the door so i didn't realized it. HAHAH! But, is not the end yet though. After we finished our supper and i went to the parking site. So i was walking faster than them and i stopped at my fathers' car. Then they was like, walking passed me. Then i felt weird. So when i checked the car properly... IT WASNT MY DAD'S CAR! LOL!!!! MY PARENTS LOL-ED! HAHAHAHHAHA I WAS SO BLUR THROUGHOUT THAT DAY!


So what i did was... being a camwhore for 30mins.

RANDOM!









HAHA ENOUGH LA!

Rka Day 2009.

O_O! <- No lah.

RKA-day. Well, didn't have anything much to say. Dad went off cuz' Mr Amara was talking toooo much. I think with Christopher's parent. Every parent he took like 15 minutes.

So, RKA-day is the day you can ponteng around the whole school. A little bit not too risky compared to the normal school days. As usual, i will go to Kemboja haha. Did the usual stuffs with Rico and Seng Yew they all. But i went there after recess lah. Before that, i was in class because no people leaves yet but then after i came back. I think i'm the last one who went back. Others left or sleeping at home. Am i right? xD

Well nothing much to update. Adios!